Living Life to the Fullest

My story reads a lot like a modern novel. The main character (myself) has a defining moment that propels the entire story (having been suicidal and now seeking the meaning of life). Along the way, there are successes that bring me closer to the goal and failures that keep me from attaining it. There is, what could be considered a major failure ... and yet through it all comes a final victory. Unlike a typical story, if I am the protagonist, who is the antagonist? It is not a person. In a search for truth, the enemy is fiction. In a search for something greater, the enemy is fear. In the search for the Kingdom of Heaven, the enemy is sin and a fallen world. In the search for life, the enemy is death. Each of these must be faced multiple times in the journey.

AND FINALLY ... slowly, almost imperceptibly, my goal of trying to see if there is meaning to life has changed. As I have discovered meaning and purpose - even if it cannot be narrowed down to exacting detail - as it has been discovered my goal has been switching to wanting to 'live life to the fullest'.

This does not mean being rich. This does not mean being powerful. It does not even mean trying to defeat evil in some large categorical way. And it definitely is not through academic exercises dealing with truth and reality.

Living life to the fullest means living in the kingdom of heaven and doing the work that it requires. Living life to the fullest, at least for me, involves helping people come out of their problems and the desperate situations they are in just as I have come out of my own. It means focusing on helping children and their families

I may be facing the physical limitations that coming with aging. I may be facing the spiritual limitations as one who has experienced His daily guiding but not reached a level of authority to perform miracles. I have seen the real, the faked, and the false and know it is so incredible when it is real. I know that there are more levels to learn ... and that these levels can help life. The struggle is to grow in the ways of the Kingdom of Heaven and to help people on earth.

I cannot state the ultimate meaning to life, but I think it is safe to say that one of the purposes of life being the way it is, is to teach us to love ... to love Him and to love one another.

Can I state the reason that the Eternal created life in this world? Can I state exactly why He wants to treat us as family, like children and adopt us? Can I answer those ultimate questions? simply no ... and I probably will not be able to in this lifetime. And, surprisingly, I am at peace with that. I know that He exists and that He loves me. He has made an incredible world for me to enjoy. And He calls me, just like everyone else, to come be part of His family. His Son calls us to be His bride.

My personal battle is in the arena of truth and falsehood. Wanting to understand and experience reality is my passion. I want to know the limits of His creation, the beauty therein, and know the answers to the great questions of life. What is false has taken so much from life and I do not want to lose anymore.

This page is under construction. My apologies for any misspellings, repeated text, missing references, etc. Please visit again later for a more complete treatment of this topic.