Growing As A Believer

Of course, as I became an active believer [see below], another huge change came to my work in photography. It became quickly apparent that photography was not the career our Heavenly Father had for me. Furthermore, many things about my photography and the subjects I had worked with were actually a hindrance to my growth as a believer. I needed to let go and repent of what had become part of my life.

Was the work really that bad? Yes. As an example, I had gotten permission to photograph a ballet group. Throughout the season I photographed some very odd things including a version of Dracula done for their Halloween production. So the simple question would be: why would a believer in the Messiah as Savior want to have images depicting the living dead, zombies, and all those related topics? Even if it was technically well done and could, from an artist's perspective, be considered an interesting piece, it was a wretched thing that did not need to be promoted or included by believers.

As hard as it might be to believe, this led to one day where I burned up about $10,000 worth of negatives, prints, and framed materials that were harmful in some way (depicting evil, vanity, etc). It was so refreshing! I was glad to do it and I started moving on. Afterwards, photography returned to my life as a documentary (rather than an artistic) pursuit which would be helpful in sharing Creation Science.

At this point, I should change perspectives. I was leaving behind the photography stage of my life and entering the active faith stage of my life.

Some of you reading this would already be familiar with my background, but for those who are not I will quickly state that I grew up in a liberal Christian church and, perhaps, in many ways could have been described as a 'Sunday morning Christian' ... that being defined as someone who goes to church, winds God up for a couple hours, and then goes home and spends the rest of the week in other activities. This would become most visible when I was suicidal at the age of 18 and decided to look for the meaning of life primarily through philosophy and science (instead of the Bible or religion). Obviously, the church had not had much of an influence on me up to that point. Several years later, I would return to Scripture as I began to realize it accurately described what I have been experiencing in life.

As with photography, when I started back into Scripture, I was a novice. Twenty-five years in a liberal church had not taught me much - it had focused heavily on the Gospels so I knew extremely little about the Old Testament and not much about the Epistles and Revelation as well. I had never read through the Bible; which led to my concepts of life as a believer being framed by the doctrines that belonged to that liberal church and a general ecclesiastical structure.

Well, just like joining a camera club in photography, I found a different group to join for church - meaning a different denomination that was more conservative. I was now surrounded by a different group of people who are interested in Bible study. This is something I desperately needed. I began reading books about the Bible, listened to many discussions on debatable topics, and was busy comparing what I was learning with what I had been taught growing up in a secular society. It was a time of growth in the basics.

Before long, I was involved in multiple church groups and home fellowships. Like the camera clubs, they each had a different flavor and different goals. Some would want to do Bible study, others are more charismatic and seeking spiritual aspects, a couple were debate groups that would argue different points of how to understand the Bible, some were especially good with praise and worship. Some would easily be described as Christian while others were Messianic Jewish. This was a time of rapid growth for me as I was learning in all areas.

One of the best things I did at this time, was to get into Scripture itself. I began studying the Bible intently.. What did the Bible have to say about each topic? I also read the Bible through - in chronological order. This was incredible. When taken in order, one can see the promises and prophecies the Eternal makes with man kind, nations, and individuals and then see them happen in order. Throughout, His love and care (as well as judgment in righteousness and purity) are quite evident as is His desire for a close relationship. I had not seen this in that liberal church.

Just like the photography darkroom opened up new horizons in art, an absolutely huge change in my life came when I decided to start praying. And I cannot overstate how much of an impact this has had in life. It also shows how little the church I had grown up in had trained me, because I was around 30 years old and I had not yet learned to pray. Within all those groups and fellowships I was attending I had met a few people who had a genuine prayer life and seemed to receive guidance from the Eternal, and sometimes the genuine use of the Gifts of the Spirit. These believers encouraged me to reach for more. It took months, but my life as a believer really opened up as I began to pray and as I learned to listen for answers and guidance through prayer. It turns out, that if we humble ourselves and follow, He will lead. In fact, the last 20 years of my life are based very heavily on prayer. Life suddenly went from being a mundane routine where I try to logically figure everything out and struggle solve problems to becoming an amazing and peaceful series of events while learning to be a member of the Kingdom of Heaven.

Perhaps an example would be the best way to illustrate this exciting period of life. I was preparing to go to a one-week meeting being held at a campground. It was in Oklahoma over 1000 miles away. As we prepared, I was repeatedly getting the message to not take a tent. This made no logical sense and challenged me for some time. To make a long story short, the campground was overfilled. If I had taken a tent, I would have been given a tiny piece of sloping land at the extremity of the camp. Instead, a few families (one of which had received in prayer to bring an extra tent) set up that tent in the middle of the campground for us. We immediately made new acquaintances - a few of which would become long-time friends. It was incredible. And there are so many more testimonies like this one. The Eternal truly cares for us and has the ability to take care of us.

Large format photography brought a lot of detail and clarity to my work. Similarly, a jump to another level of clarity about life would come when I really started looking into the spiritual aspects of life beyond prayer. I realized that we do have to deal with what's happening behind the scenes - including such topics as angels and demons, blessings and cursings, and the effects such things have in our lives. It can sometimes be difficult to quantify, but this helped me to understand both some of the suffering and some of the miracles that have occurred in my life. I have gone through many stages of cleansing, much like burning those photography items, where I've had to get rid of objects in my life because they were causing harm physically and/or spiritually. This includes books containing stories of magic, meditation objects displaying oriental religious characters, and so many other 'strange' items gained or collected through a lifetime of ignorance at how bad these items really are. At each step, it was amazing how much more peaceful life was becoming.

Somewhere in there, as many of you know, I discovered the difference between the creation account in the Bible and the concepts of evolutionism I had been taught in the secular school system and university. This would be like my photography solo exhibition. Over a ten year period, I started learning everything I could about creation science and eventually I was doing research in that field. And it really wasn't so much to try and prove that the Bible is correct as it was to defend myself and other believers from the attacks made by evolutionism. Have no doubt that a secular based science will fight against our faith. One of the biggest things I learned through all of this was just how precious life is. We were created with a purpose. Life does have meaning and should not be taken lightly. Interestingly, I could easily see myself trying to have a career in creation science, but that is not where the Eternal would direct me to be.

After traveling back and forth across the United States for ten years [exploring creation] and after attending so many different denominations and fellowships, I began to recognize how the many man made traditions (doctrines) separated believers. I also saw how direct and simple the Scriptures are in describing our relationship with the Eternal and that this type of relationship pulled believers together as one. I further realized that I was no longer described well as either a Christian nor as a Messianic ... because I was not following the traditions of the Bishops nor the traditions of the Rabbis. Instead, I was trying to learn the Bible without the added traditions of man. This was another great leap forward in my life as a believer. Although all believers in the Messiah as Savior share much in common, I found that when Scripture says to go straight, a rabbi says to go left, and a bishop says to go right - I was now free to just go straight. Straight to the Savior. Straight to the Kingdom of Heaven. Straight to eternal life. That huge hindrance that came from the distractions and, worse yet, the misdirections that could come from the extra traditions was vanishing.

Which brings me back to where I am now ... where our Heavenly Father has brought me. I want to see what a life of truth, righteousness, and purity looks like. Yes, I know we will not achieve perfection in this lifetime nor on this earth; however, I think it is important to always keep building a relationship with the Eternal and to never stop reaching for higher ground.

Gladly, this time of my life is not falling into the stereotypical 'mid-life crisis', but instead is filled with hope and joy - for life truly is amazing and wonderful. I wait with expectation to see what the next 25 years of life brings. I already know the direction it is taking (as it is no longer photography nor science). For some time, we have been in training and preparation to start a children's mission with a series of local outreaches across the United States. It seems the time is here to formally begin that process. Whatever the next 25 years brings, it will probably be heavily centered on the work of helping children (and their families) by giving them help for today [taking care of current problems like poverty and education] and giving them hope for tomorrow [teaching that there is a Creator that loves them and that eternal life is possible].

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